We’ve all been there. That dark and gray area of motherhood where we have no idea what we’re doing. No matter how much we prepare, read motherhood books, attend motherhood classes, or join mom groups in Facebook, no one can truly be able to fully prepare in welcoming that sweet little bundle of joy into our lives.
Seven Major Changes
You are forced to recover. When you gave birth, you didn’t expect that you’d not only change your baby’s diapers but also yours. Most moms, like myself, are advised to heal and rest after delivery; when in reality, you will have to take care of yourself, your wound, your baby, and even expected to keep up with the chores. Nobody even mentioned breastfeeding was painful! (my nipples bled from latching) Help is often hardly offered because you’re at home all day! Why would you still need help? Right?
Your marriage is strained. Having a new member of the family whose demands are so high means all the attention are directed to the little one. There’s hardly anytime to spend time as a couple. If there is, you’re both either tired from lack of sleep or too resentful and bitter because of hubby’s good night sleep while you stay up all night and nurse. Not to mention the amount of effort you’ll have to exert into packing your baby bag when going out. Yes, let’s just stay home.
There’s a lot of missing your old life. This doesn’t mean you’d rather go back in time, but you start to appreciate the freedom you once had that you never thought you had. Now that you have your baby, you revolve around his schedule, his needs and demands, not yours.
Motherhood is sad and lonely. You can’t go anywhere You are stuck with the little one who depends on you to live. More often than not, when he cries you also cry. Everyday your routine is feeding, burping, changing diapers, and letting him sleep. Not to mention all the other chores that have piled up in addition to your extreme lack of sleep which your body isn’t used to yet. Your social life is also sacrificed! You can no longer hang out with friends the way you used to and you can’t help but be envious of your partner for having the time of his life, going out and being social with his friends while you are in a home arrest by your baby.
You are held up to extremely high expectations. Now that you are a mother, everybody expects you to make the right choices and expected to be perfect. There’s very little room for mistake. One wrong move or side comment and you are branded as neglectful. Sneaking in a little nap after an all-nighter gets you judged as lazy. To be all-knowing seems to be the standard imposed upon new mothers when in reality, the age of their newborn is also their age as moms: they too, are beginners and rookies.
You don’t get breaks. Your husband working all day whines he is so tired after work so he can’t help you with the baby, but his work has a beginning and an end, he gets a full hour lunch break and days off–you don’t. Motherhood is a 24/7 job you can never resign from. Sick? There’s no sick leaves here, your baby’s needs come first. Weekend? The same as weekdays, still tending with the baby’s needs. Working too? Now all your other free time from working is snagged up by the baby, even your days off and vacation leaves.
Your body will change. Your body is never the same after pregnancy. At first, those marks of bearing a life will crush your self-esteem. Every time you walk past the mirror, you will see the ultimate sacrifice you’ve given for your little one: yourself. Your pre-baby body is no longer and that’s a fact I still struggle to accept until now. It’s saddening, but it takes the right partner to silence those insecurities away.
Final Words
It’s true. Being a mom is tiresome. It’s never easy. But you can’t help falling in love with that little human who means the world to you. What else keeps you changing poopy diapers but unconditional love? Once you become a mom, Your world turns upside down. What once was fun, no longer excites you. What once was burdensome is now your goal — stability, peace, and goodnight’s sleep. It’s a transition you can never prepare for, but it is what fulfills your heart as a mom who wants to provide only the best for her little one. And in the end, it will all be worth it.
xx
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